Marriage Certificates can pinpoint Family-Secrets.

I discovered from my parents' marriage certificate that this was not my mother's first. It also was not my father's.

A new name has been brought into my family-tree from the certificate details. In column 4 titled 'Condition' I'm informed that Dad was 'The divorced husband of Alice Victoria Leagas'. This was a surprise – the third from one piece of paper.

Research confirmed his marriage to Alice was in October 1926, twenty-four years earlier than his second. I'm assuming there wasn't a third: well I haven't found another one yet.

There was a question that needed to be asked: could there be any children from the marriage?

The answer – Yes.

It took some lateral thinking to find them, but I have Birth Certificates which confirm Fred and Alice had two daughters; Eileen in August 1927 and Barbara in April 1929.

I've discovered that I have two half-sisters! Two living-secrets kept from me, and my brother when he was alive. Thanks Dad.

Of course I have to wonder whether Eileen and Barbara know their father had two sons some twenty years after them. Would they want to know? Would their parents have wanted them to know?

I've confirmed that my new-found-siblings have married, and now I need to investigate further to determine whether I have any other living half-relatives.

For the forty-five years, since my brother died, I believed that I was my father's sole living child: another illusion shattered.

 © Elliot Sampford 2014

Short-Version Birth Certificates hide the truth.

The copies of the birth and marriage certificates I'd ordered (I mentioned it to you a couple of weeks ago) from the General Register Office arrived and confirmed my suspicions about family-skeletons.

No laughing at my middle name!

I can only remember having a short-version (rectangular and only contains the child's details) birth certificate; rather than the usual full-version (oblong and contains the child's and parent's details); to record my entry into the world.

I believe the same applied for my older brother. I have to make this assumption because when I became custodian of the family's records, on the death of my mother, strangely there were no copies of birth or marriage certificates to confirm our history from the 1940's.

During my early childhood I was led to believe we were a typical 1950's family of husband, wife and their children. It was unusual during that era for unmarried couples to live together and even more for them to have children before marriage. Not in our family!

I now have an unabridged version of my certificate which shows the ('Name, surname and maiden surname of mother') details of my mother as 'Doris Edith Sampford otherwise Boath formerly Longman'. So that's what I wasn't supposed to see. On my brother's full-version certificate, acquired with mine, the words 'Sampford otherwise' weren't included. The term 'otherwise' seems more polite than 'alias'. Who was this man named Boath?

A similar compilation of the term was used, twenty-two months later, on my parent's marriage certificate, with the names Sampford and Boath being transposed. I also now have a christian name: who was Ronald Boath?

My mother and father, even after they separated a few years later, were good at keeping secrets; so were my one-time-pious, maternal grandparents; when they were alive. Perhaps they should have considered that truth will out at sometime. Perhaps they did and thought that as long as it was hidden until after they were dead it didn't matter.

I accept that in the 1950's and 1960's there were 'taboo' subjects which were not discussed in families between adults and children. But, who benefited from the reality of the situation being covered up, not talked about, not acknowledged? Who, and what, has suffered as a result of the conspiracy of silence?

The exhumation of this particular skeleton hasn't made any difference to what I believe about myself. It hasn't made any difference to the way I feel about my parents: my opinion was developed by their actions over time. What it has helped to explain more fully is why the four, and then three, of us, as a family group, were treated as the 'Black Sheep' by our middle-class Longman relatives. However, on an individual basis, I did not find this the situation with three of my childless Great-Aunts.

Do I regret seeking out the truth, hidden by the short-version birth certificate, as part of my family history research – No! This is just the beginning: there are at least two more bodies to be confirmed.

 © Elliot Sampford 2014

Lost Friend Found.

During the morning of Sunday 9th February 2014 I answered a telephone call and heard “Hello Elliot it's Phil Barling”.

That's nothing special you are possibly thinking – but it is. It was over forty years ago that I last spoke to him.

He and I were friends at our secondary school and after I moved to Stelling Minnis in Kent, his home village, in 1964 our friendship grew stronger. I enlisted into the army in October 1967. I think I last saw him in early 1968. I've often wondered what he might have been doing since I left.

In the summer of 2010 I made a return trip to the area to see if he was still living in the bungalow next to the local shop. The only information I obtained – wrong as it now turns out – was that he had moved to Folkestone, my early childhood town. I used the internet to try to locate him. I Googled his name along with 'Folkestone' – but no joy. I tried 'friendsreunited.co.uk', in particular our old school of Brockhill in Saltwood, Kent – but no joy.

In November 2013 I came across the Stelling Minnis Village Website and the Parish Magazine. I wrote to the Editor in the hope that through the website or the magazine I might obtain details of Phil's whereabouts. My letter, entitled 'Can you help' was published in the January 2014 issue.

On the 20th January I received an email from a lady called Evelyn Simpson: “Have you managed to track down Phil Barling? I used to play with Phil’s sister, Jill in the mid 60’s, and I may be able to track his whereabouts through her daughter.” I confirmed I needed her help.

On the 30th January, Evelyn wrote to me again giving me Phil's email address, which she had obtained from his niece.

I wrote to him on the 1st February: “...I thought it could be good to be in contact and reminisce about those times [our teenage years up to October 1967] and what our lives have been since then. I started to draft a long email about my past but decided I wouldn't send it, at this time, because you may not be interested. It would be good to hear from you, but can understand if you choose not to reply.”

One week passed and I hadn't received a reply. I began to assume that as I had been the one to break up our friendship he didn't want to get back in contact.

His telephone call on Sunday 9th February proved me wrong. It was fantastic to speak to him. We chatted for forty minutes as if it had only been forty weeks – not forty years – since we'd talked. It won't be the last time.

I've already expressed my thanks direct to Nick Smith of the Stelling Minnis Parish Magazine, and the good-hearted Evelyn Simpson. However, I want to thank them publicly; for without their assistance I would still be searching for a long-lost friend.

© Elliot Sampford 2014

Sainsbury's Spring Onions past their best.

My wife was preparing our lunch-time salad today when she asked me where I thought the spring onions, that we purchased from Sainsbury's in Lincoln yesterday (31st January 2014) were grown.

I'm not good at guessing games so need-less-to-say I got it wrong.

As you can see from the photograph of the label; attached to the 'spring onions bunch' as defined on our receipt issued at 10:35 hrs. on the 31st January 2014; they had been grown in Egypt.

I would now like to draw your attention to the 'Best Before' date on the label. I don't know about you, but when I'm picking one bunch of – what I thought were fresh – spring onions from an almost full box of the product I don't expect to have to check the BB date.

Why were Sainsbury's in Lincoln selling supposedly 'fresh and versatile' produce after its BB date, without warning its customers, at the normal price of £0.75 per bunch. I know it is not an 'Eat By' date but there is a principle here: isn't there? What do you think?